A Conversation with Sexual Wellness Expert Emily Morse

Sexual wellness is essential to achieving overall well-being; however, it can be difficult to know where to start. We caught up with Emily Morse, renowned sexual wellness expert and host of the Sex With Emily podcast, for an exclusive interview that explores her valuable insights across aspects of intimacy. Her approach demystifies sexual health, making it accessible and empowering for everyone.

What inspired you to focus your work on sexual wellness?

It started with my own frustration with sex itself. I remember being in my early 30s, at the tail end of another relationship, confused why once again the thrill of sex and new relationship energy had worn off. (I now know that it’s common and normal for excitement to fade once the “honeymoon period” ends.) 

I figured that if I wanted to learn more about sex, I had to start asking questions. I launched Sex With Emily in 2005, before podcasts were even a thing, and quickly became obsessed with learning as much as I could about sex – then sharing that information with my listeners. I graduated from sex ed to sexual wellness when I realized early on that great sex isn’t about any specific tips or tricks. Having a satisfying and fulfilling sex is more about the intersection of our mind, body, and spirit and understanding the connection between those areas. Almost 20 years later, we’re seeing more conversations about sex as wellness and I love helping people improve their sex lives.  

How do you define sexual wellness?

Sexual wellness is really about feeling good in your body, exploring intimacy and pleasure, tuning into your desires, getting to know your body, opening up your definition of sex (it’s not just penetration), protecting your physical health, considering therapy to work through any issues, learning sex education, and practicing effective communication skills.  

Sexual wellness is an important part of your overall wellness. Just as you can exercise for your physical well-being or nurture your mental well-being through things like breathwork and meditation, you can take solid steps to care for your sexual well-being – and watch how it benefits the rest of your life. 

Can you explain how sexual wellness is interconnected with overall well-being?

Sexual wellness takes into account your physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being. Our sexual experiences should be pleasurable, intimate, playful, respectful, safe, and fulfilling. When there are problems in any of the aforementioned areas, it affects our ability to have healthy sexual experiences. When we prioritize our sexual health and well-being, it directly impacts every area of our life. Sexual satisfaction affects our relationship satisfaction and when we see the inextricable link between the two, we’re more likely to work on all challenges that are showing up in our lives.  

A crucial aspect of sexual well-being that overlaps with our general well-being is how well we communicate with our partners. It’s necessary to have open and honest conversations about our sex lives, wants, needs, and desires. When we get in touch with our sexual experiences and talk about them, it helps to understand resentments and any other issues that might arise.  

It’s important to understand how certain medications, foods, how often we move our body, and how we deal with any untreated trauma all impact our sex life and overall well-being – it’s all interconnected. If we don’t feel safe in our bodies, it will affect our ability to give and receive pleasure.  

In your work, you create environments where people can discuss sex and pleasure openly, without judgment. Can you share why this is so important?

Because most of us have been marinated in shame around sex. We were taught it’s shameful and embarrassing to touch yourself, for instance – and that sex is certainly something you shouldn’t talk about out loud. 

But when sex is shrouded in silence and judgment, shame and confusion compounds. It’s why I always tell couples to talk about sex like you talk about what you’re having for dinner. The more comfortable you get talking about your sex life, the more your sexual satisfaction increases. You’re being more communicative, curious and honest – and these qualities will absolutely benefit your sexual connection as a couple.

What can we do to become more comfortable about talking about sex?

One good step is to start consuming sex positive content (movies, television shows, podcasts, creators) and following sex positive voices who give us language around sex and normalize it as a topic to discuss. Getting comfortable talking about sex is a practice, one that becomes a lot easier when we surround ourselves with like-minded people. 

Where should beginners start when it comes to their sexual wellness journey?

It looks a little bit different for everyone, but I would suggest you start by exploring your own body. If you don’t have a regular solo sex practice, now's the time to start. You’ll begin developing a more easy, intimate relationship to your body, and on a more fundamental level, you’ll start to discover what feels good and learn how and what to communicate to a partner.    

If you could share one message about sexual wellness with our community, what would it be?   

A fulfilling, pleasure-focused sex life is yours for the taking. It doesn’t matter your partner status, either. You are the one who gets to deepen your eroticism, grow your Sex IQ, and watch your sexual experiences evolve.   

Can you share any helpful resources or tips for those seeking support on their sexual wellness journey?

Definitely tune into the Sex With Emily podcast for biweekly, accessible sex education. My website and Instagram have tons of resources and articles to teach you new skills, from how to touch yourself, to kink, to communication. My book Smart Sex: How to Increase Your Sex IQ & Own Your Pleasure  is your bedside bible, and full of information ranging from all the types of orgasms you can have, to scripts for sex conversations with your lovers.